Netflix Fails

The desperation is palpable. Netflix's latest moves are a stark reminder that the once-beloved streaming giant has devolved into a mindless, cash-hungry beast. Its insatiable appetite for anything remotely popular has led to a slew of unoriginal, uninspired content that's an affront to the very concept of creativity. The constant barrage of remakes and reboots is a lazy attempt to appeal to nostalgia, rather than actually creating something new and innovative. It's a cynical ploy to separate gullible viewers from their hard-earned cash, and it's working. The masses are lapping up this drivel like the good little sheep they are, oblivious to the fact that they're being fed a steady diet of regurgitated, uninspired nonsense.

• Case in point: the abysmal "Ghostbusters" reboot, which managed to tank at the box office despite its hefty budget and A-list cast.
• The laughable "Fantastic Four" reboot, which was so bad it single-handedly killed the franchise.
• The soulless "RoboCop" remake, which took a classic sci-fi film and turned it into a soulless, CGI-infested disaster.

And then there's the "Lord Of The Flies" deal, a prime example of Sony's ability to sell anything to the highest bidder, regardless of artistic merit. Because who needs quality when you can have a quick buck? The real winners here are the shareholders, not the viewers or the creators. They're the ones who'll be laughing all the way to the bank, while the rest of us are left to suffer through yet another mediocre, soulless adaptation. Let's not forget the gullible influencers and "experts" who are already fawning over these disasters, eager to cash in on their 15 minutes of fame. They're the ones who'll be peddling this swill to their mindless followers, who'll lap it up like the good little drones they are.

• The "critics" who gave "The Last Airbender" a glowing review, despite its 6% Rotten Tomatoes score.
• The "influencers" who shilled for "The Emoji Movie", despite its 8% Rotten Tomatoes score.
• The "experts" who predicted "Battlefield Earth" would be a blockbuster hit, despite its 9% Rotten Tomatoes score.

The statistics are damning. The majority of these remakes and reboots tank at the box office, or receive scathing reviews from critics. But hey, who needs quality when you can have a quick buck? The shareholders are happy, and that's all that matters. The rest of us are just along for the ride, forced to suffer through a never-ending stream of mediocre, uninspired content. Joy.

Joy, another "groundbreaking" drama from Jack Thorne, because the world was just missing a rehashing of the same old themes and ideas. How exciting. I can barely contain my enthusiasm for yet another unoriginal, shallow attempt at storytelling. The fact that Sony is scrambling to secure a "glut of deals" for this mediocrity is a clear indication that they're aware of its lackluster quality. The emphasis on "deals" rather than "content" is a glaring red flag, a beacon of desperation in an industry that's more concerned with making a quick buck than actually producing something worthwhile. Let's take a look at some of the other brilliant moves from the industry:

• Greenlighting a TV series based on a Twitter thread, because who needs actual writing talent when you have 280 characters?
• Remaking classic films with all the charm and personality of a sedated sloth, because originality is overrated.
• Casting "influencers" in leading roles, because their vast experience in taking selfies and peddling detox teas makes them totally qualified to act.

And the real victims in all this? The viewers, of course, who will be subjected to this drivel and expected to pretend it's actually good. I mean, who needs quality entertainment when you can have shallow, formulaic nonsense? The gullible masses will no doubt lap it up, praising the "bold" and "daring" storytelling, completely oblivious to the fact that they're being served the same old garbage with a fresh coat of paint. Let's look at some stats, shall we? Did you know that over 70% of TV shows are cancelled within their first season? Or that the average viewer spends around 4 hours a day watching TV, most of which is mindless, soulless drivel? It's a bleak landscape, folks, and it's only getting worse. The "experts" will tell you that this is just the way the industry works, that it's all about "taking risks" and "pushing boundaries". Save it. The only thing being pushed is the audience's patience, and the only risk being taken is the risk of actually producing something original. Influencers and "experts" will line up to praise this latest abomination, no doubt. They'll tell you that it's "edgy" and "subversive", that it's "challenging the status quo" and "pushing the boundaries of storytelling". Don't believe the hype. It's all just a tired, cynical attempt to make a quick buck off the backs of unsuspecting viewers. So, go ahead and waste your time on this latest mediocrity. See if I care. Just don't come crying when you realize you've been had. Again.

Oh joy, another "groundbreaking" deal from Netflix that has the media fawning all over it. How quaint. How utterly predictable. The sheep are lining up to be fleeced once again, and the "experts" are more than happy to lead the charge. Let's take a look at the "exclusive" deals that have been making headlines:

• The $100 million production budget for a show that's just a rehashing of the same tired formula
• The "record-breaking" viewership numbers that are somehow always based on questionable metrics
• The "innovative" storytelling that's just a lazy rehashing of the same overused tropes

It's a never-ending parade of nonsense, and the gullible masses are lapping it up like the good little consumers they are. And don't even get me started on the influencers and "experts" who are peddling this garbage. They're like a bunch of carnival barkers, shouting about the "next big thing" and how you'd be a fool to miss out. Meanwhile, they're raking in the cash from their sponsorships and affiliate deals. It's a sickening display of greed and avarice. But hey, who needs actual quality content when you can just slap a fancy logo on it and call it a day? The real story here is not the deal itself, but the desperation and greed that drove it. It's a classic case of emperors and their new clothes, and the media is more than happy to play along. After all, who needs journalistic integrity when you can just regurgitate press releases and call it "reporting"? And the worst part is, people are still falling for it. They're still shelling out their hard-earned cash for overpriced streaming services and mediocre content. It's a testament to the power of marketing and the gullibility of the masses. So, to all the mindless drones out there who are still drinking the Netflix Kool-Aid, let me ask you: what's it going to take for you to wake up and smell the garbage? A $200 million production budget for a show that's just a glorified infomercial? A "record-breaking" viewership number that's based on a bunch of fake accounts? Get a grip, people. You're being played.

Oh joy, another chance to bask in the glorious mediocrity that is the commodification of art and culture. Because what's more inspiring than watching creative works being sold to the highest bidder like cattle at an auction? The "Lord of the Flies" deal is just the tip of the iceberg, a symptom of a society that values profit over people, and originality over actual talent. Let's take a look at the "benefits" of this deal, shall we?

• The opportunity for corporations to churn out soulless, formulaic content that caters to the lowest common denominator.
• The chance for shareholders to reap massive profits while the actual creators struggle to make ends meet.
• The thrill of watching artists and audiences being exploited for the sake of a quick buck.

And of course, who could forget the "experts" and influencers who will inevitably come out of the woodwork to defend this deal, touting it as a "game-changer" and a "revolutionary" new way to experience art and culture. Yeah, because nothing says "revolutionary" like the same old tired, overhyped nonsense being peddled to the masses. The real cost of this deal will be paid by the creators, who will be forced to sacrifice their artistic vision and integrity in order to churn out content that meets the corporate overlords' bottom line. And the viewers? They'll be subjected to a never-ending stream of mediocre content, designed to keep them distracted and complacent, rather than challenged and inspired. But hey, at least the corporations will be happy, right? I mean, who needs actual art and culture when you can have focus-grouped, committee-approved, soulless garbage? Take, for example, the case of the music industry, where artists are now more likely to be discovered through social media than actual talent. Or the film industry, where sequels and reboots are the only thing that seem to get greenlit anymore. It's a never-ending cycle of unoriginality and greed, and the "Lord of the Flies" deal is just the latest example of this. So, to all the gullible people out there who think this deal is a good thing, let me just say: wake up, sheep. You're being fleeced. The statistics are just as damning. According to a recent study, the number of original scripts being produced has decreased by over 50% in the past decade, while the number of reboots and sequels has increased by over 200%. And as for the "benefits" of this deal, let's just say that the average artist makes less than $30,000 per year, while the average corporate executive makes over $1 million. Yeah, that's a real "revolution" in art and culture. So, to all the "experts" and influencers out there, keep on peddling your nonsense. The rest of us will just be over here, rolling our eyes in disgust.