Brexit Lie

Joy, it's been years and the Brexit mess is still unraveling, much to the surprise of no one with a functioning brain. The economic fallout? Still a disaster. The trade deals? Non-existent. But hey, who needs facts when you have nationalist rhetoric and empty promises? Let's recap the highlights of this catastrophe:

• The pound plummeting to historic lows, because who needs a stable currency, anyway?
• The UK's trade deficit ballooning to record highs, a testament to the genius of Brexit "strategists"
• Investment fleeing the country, because smart money doesn't bet on chaos and uncertainty

And the best part? Most Brits are still clueless about the actual consequences of Brexit. They're too busy swallowing the lies and excuses peddled by UK politicians and their lapdog media. The Brexit debacle has exposed the incompetence of UK politicians, but that's not news. We've known they're clueless for years. What's new is the level of gaslighting and denial. They're still trying to convince us that Brexit is a success, that the chaos is just a "transition period" (code for "we have no idea what we're doing"). Meanwhile, the country burns, and the gullible public laps up the nonsense like good little sheep. Influencers and "experts" are still spewing their brand of toxic positivity, claiming that Brexit will somehow, magically, make Britain great again. Newsflash: it won't. The statistical embarrassment is already here: stagnant growth, rising poverty, and a brain drain of epic proportions. But hey, who needs facts when you have Instagram influencers telling you to "stay positive" and "believe in Britain"? The horror stories are already piling up: businesses shutting down, families separated, lives ruined. But the Brexit zealots just shrug and say "it's all worth it" for the sake of "sovereignty" (code for "we hate foreigners and want to go back to the Dark Ages"). The pathetic failure cases are legion: the NHS struggling to cope with staff shortages, the food banks overflowing, the homeless population exploding. But who needs a functioning society when you have a blue passport and a Union Jack flag to wave? So, to all the Brexit true believers out there, keep on believing. Keep on pretending that the emperor's new clothes are the most magnificent thing you've ever seen. The rest of us will be over here, watching the country burn, and wondering how you managed to be so catastrophically wrong.

The masterclass of empty rhetoric has begun, courtesy of Starmer's Labour party. Their Brexit plan? Non-existent. A jumbled mess of vague promises and empty buzzwords designed to pacify the gullible masses. Their track record on Brexit is a laundry list of failures:

• 2016: Promising to respect the referendum result, only to spend years trying to undermine it
• 2019: Pledging to deliver a "sensible" Brexit, whatever that means, before promptly caving to pressure from Remain fanatics
• 2020: Vowing to "make Brexit work", a hollow phrase devoid of substance or policy

All this while, Labour's so-called "experts" and influencers were busy peddling their brand of wishful thinking, convincing the naive that somehow, someway, Labour would magically fix the Brexit mess. The statistical embarrassment is staggering. Labour's approval ratings on Brexit have been in free fall, with a whopping 60% of voters distrustful of their handling of the issue. But hey, who needs facts when you have Starmer's silver tongue and a compliant media willing to regurgitate his vacuous soundbites? The horror stories abound: from the fishing industry's collapse to the devastating impact on small businesses, all while Labour dithers and postures. Let's not forget the scam examples. Labour's "Brexit consultation" was a masterclass in deception, a PR exercise designed to create the illusion of engagement while doing precisely nothing. The result? A 100-page report filled with meaningless jargon and platitudes, a testament to Labour's boundless capacity for producing hot air. To all the gullible folks out there still drinking the Labour Kool-Aid, wake up. Their current stance is nothing more than a desperate attempt to cling to power, a cynical ploy to exploit the fears and anxieties of a nation still reeling from Brexit. Don't be fooled by the slick rhetoric or the pseudo-intellectual justifications. It's all smoke and mirrors, a pathetic attempt to distract from their own incompetence. The pathetic failure cases are legion. Labour's Brexit spokespersons can't even be bothered to show up to debates, preferring to hide behind a wall of spin and obfuscation. Their "policy" is a joke, a wishy-washy mishmash of contradictory statements and half-baked ideas. And the "experts" who enable this farce? Either willfully ignorant or complicit in the scam, peddling their nonsense to a public that deserves better.

Oh joy, the Brexit fanfare has finally died down, and now the "moving on" crowd is out in full force. How quaint. How utterly, mind-numbingly quaint. They think a simple change of subject will distract us from the catastrophe that's still unfolding. Please, do go on. The delusional notion that the UK's reputation has been "irreparably damaged" is a joke. It's been embarrassed, sure, but let's not forget the world has a remarkably short attention span. The real damage is the economic hemorrhaging that's still happening, with no end in sight. But hey, who needs facts when you have feelings, right?

• The pound's value is still in free fall, but who's counting?
• Investors are fleeing in droves, but it's not like that's a big deal or anything.
• The UK's trade deficit is ballooning, because who needs a functioning economy, anyway?

And then there are the gullible souls who swallow the "social fabric" nonsense. You know, the ones who think a few marches and some angry tweets constitute a "movement". Newsflash: the country's social fabric has been torn apart by far more mundane things, like austerity and inequality. But hey, let's blame Brexit for everything, because it's the trendy thing to do.

• Food banks are overflowing, but that's just a minor detail, right?
• Homelessness is skyrocketing, but who needs a home when you have a Brexit opinion?
• The NHS is on life support, but let's focus on the important things, like Article 50.

Pretending it's all water under the bridge is indeed a gross insult to our intelligence, but not for the reasons you think. It's an insult because it assumes we're all just going to forget the blatant lies, the statistical embarrassments, and the pathetic failure cases that led us here.

• The £350 million NHS bus? Yeah, that was a real thing.
• The "easiest trade deal in history"? More like the most epic face-plant.
• The "Brexit dividend"? Ha! More like a Brexit debt that'll take generations to pay off.

So, to all the influencers and "experts" peddling their brand of Brexit denial, let me say: spare us the sanctimony. We're not buying what you're selling. We know the score, and we won't be distracted by your fluff and nonsense. The only thing that's been "moved on" from is any semblance of accountability or common sense.

Oh joy, the Brexit bonanza has been a wild ride, and by "wild ride," I mean a catastrophic nightmare for the plebeians while the fat cats get fatter. It's almost as if the wealthy elite had a crystal ball, predicting the chaos and positioning themselves to reap the benefits. What a coincidence. The "common people" have been left to pick up the pieces, while the 1% have been laughing all the way to the bank. And what's the excuse for this blatant exploitation? "Oh, it's just the market adjusting." How quaint. The interests of the wealthy have been prioritized, and it's not like they've been secretly manipulating the system to their advantage or anything.

• The UK's tax havens have been strengthened, because who needs transparency when you can have secrecy and exploitation?
• Financial "experts" have been peddling their wares, touting the "opportunities" of Brexit while lining their own pockets
• Influencers and politicians have been spewing forth empty promises, distracting the masses from the real issue: the wealthy elite's stranglehold on power

Let's look at some real horror stories. Like the fact that the UK's trade deficit has ballooned since Brexit, with the wealthy elite benefiting from the devaluation of the pound. Or the statistical embarrassment that is the UK's economic growth, which has slowed to a crawl since the referendum. But hey, who needs economic stability when you can have the thrill of uncertainty and the "opportunity" to make a quick buck off the backs of the struggling masses?

• The £350 million per week "saved" from EU membership has magically disappeared, only to reappear in the bank accounts of the wealthy elite
• The "taking back control" mantra has been exposed as a farce, with the UK now beholden to the whims of other nations and the wealthy elite's interests
• Gullible people have been duped into believing that Brexit would "make Britain great again," when in reality, it's just made the wealthy elite greater

And what's the response from our esteemed leaders and "experts"? Crickets. Or, if you're lucky, a half-hearted apology and a promise to "learn from mistakes." Mistakes? Are you kidding me? This is a deliberate, calculated exploitation of the system, and the wealthy elite will continue to reap the benefits while the rest of the country suffers. So, to all the gullible people out there, keep on believing in the fairy tale of Brexit, and the wealthy elite will keep on laughing all the way to the bank.