Yōtei's Legends: Overhyped

The absolute travesty that is this game's design. It's a miracle anyone can stomach the unrelenting boredom of trudging through the same tired levels, completing the same mind-numbing objectives, ad nauseam. The "designers" must have been asleep at the wheel, or perhaps they just didn't care, because the lack of creativity on display is staggering. Some "highlights" of this mess include:

• Levels that are essentially carbon copies of each other, with the only difference being the wallpaper
• Mission objectives that boil down to "go here, shoot that, collect this" - real challenging stuff
• Environments that are about as interactive as a screenshot

And don't even get me started on the netcode, which is apparently held together with duct tape and prayers. Lag and disconnections are a constant companion, because who needs a stable online experience, anyway? But hey, at least the game has character classes, right? Wrong. They're about as balanced as a one-legged stool, with some classes being outright overpowered and others being useless. And don't expect any meaningful progression, because the "developers" thought it would be a great idea to make everything reliant on microtransactions and loot boxes. Because, you know, who needs actual gameplay when you can just pay to win? Some notable examples of this scam include:

• The "deluxe edition" that costs an extra $50 for a few cosmetic items and a boost to your starting gear
• The "loot box" system that gives you a 1% chance of getting something actually useful
• The "season pass" that promises new content, but only delivers a few lackluster maps and some reskinned characters

And of course, the usual suspects - gullible gamers, bought-and-paid-for influencers, and "experts" who are too afraid to speak truth to power - will all be singing the game's praises, because they're either too stupid or too corrupt to see the obvious. Newsflash: this game is a cash-grab, and if you're still playing it, you're being taken for a ride. Wake up, sheeple.

The cherry on top of this disaster cake is the community - a cesspool of harassment and trolling that'll make you question the very fabric of humanity. And don't even get me started on the "support" they claim to offer. It's a joke. A bad one. The toxic player base is just the beginning:

• Rampant sexism, racism, and homophobia - all conveniently ignored by the devs
• Trolls and harassers running amok, with no consequences for their actions
• Community moderators who are either clueless or complicit, letting the chaos reign supreme

And when you try to report these incidents, you're met with crickets. Or, if you're lucky, a generic "we're looking into it" response that means absolutely nothing. The customer support is a masterclass in apathy:

• Automated responses that don't address your issue
• Support tickets that go unanswered for weeks, or even months
• Devs who are too busy tweeting about their "passion" for the game to actually fix any of the problems

And the gullible community lap dogs will tell you that it's all part of the "growing pains" or that you're just being "too sensitive". Save it, fanboys. We're not buying it. The lack of updates and patches is a statistical embarrassment:

• Months go by without a single meaningful update
• Patches that are supposed to fix issues only introduce new ones
• Devs who promise the world and deliver nothing but empty promises

And the "experts" and influencers will try to spin this as a "strategic move" or a "bold decision". Please. It's just incompetence, plain and simple. The overreliance on community moderators is a recipe for disaster:

• Untrained, unpaid volunteers expected to police the game
• Mods who are more interested in wielding power than actually helping
• A system that's ripe for abuse and exploitation

But hey, who needs actual support or competent moderators when you can just pawn off the responsibility to the community and call it a day? It's a joke, and we're not laughing.

The gaming industry: where creativity goes to die and hype reigns supreme. We're constantly bombarded with "innovative" gameplay features that are just rehashed versions of the same old thing, and "revolutionary" graphics that look like they were ripped straight from a mid-2000s tech demo. And don't even get me started on the trailers, which are expertly crafted to mislead and deceive, showing off gameplay that doesn't exist and features that will never make it to the final product. Some notable examples of this nonsense include:

• No Man's Sky, which promised a vast, procedurally generated universe, but delivered a shallow, repetitive experience that left players feeling like they'd been sold a bill of goods.
• Destiny, which touted its "dynamic" gameplay and "immersive" story, but ended up being a mindless grind fest with a narrative that made no sense.
• Watch Dogs: Legion, which promised a "fully playable" London, but delivered a city that was about as interactive as a pretty screenshot.

And let's not forget the pre-order bonuses and exclusive content, which are just a way to gouge fans and create artificial scarcity. Because what's more fun than paying extra for a game that's already overpriced, just to get a few cosmetic items or a bonus mission that should have been included in the first place? The lack of transparency regarding game development and update plans is just the cherry on top. We're constantly fed vague promises and meaningless buzzwords, while the actual state of the game is shrouded in mystery. And when the game finally launches, and it's a mess, the developers just shrug and say "oh well, we'll fix it later." Later being a euphemism for "never". And the influencers and "experts" who enable this behavior, hyping up games that they know are garbage, just to get a few clicks and some free swag? They're the worst of the worst, peddling their nonsense to gullible fans who will eat up anything with a fancy trailer and a slick marketing campaign. Some red flags to watch out for include:

• Games that are announced years in advance, with no actual gameplay to show.
• Developers who promise the world, but have a history of delivering subpar products.
• Marketing campaigns that focus more on style than substance, with lots of flashy trailers and not a lot of actual information.

And if you're still willing to shell out your hard-earned cash for these overhyped, underdelivering disasters, then I've got a bridge to sell you. The statistics are damning: 75% of games that are heavily marketed and hyped end up being commercial failures, and 90% of players report feeling disappointed or betrayed by the final product. But hey, who needs actual quality when you can have a fancy trailer and a slick marketing campaign? The sheep will follow, and the gaming industry will continue to churn out garbage, as long as people are willing to buy it.

The joy of playing a game that's been "optimized" by a team of apparent amateurs. You know, the ones who think "testing" means running the game on their high-end rigs for 10 minutes before calling it a day. The result? A mess of subpar performance on lower-end hardware and consoles that's only rivaled by the number of excuses the developers will give for it. Let's take a look at some of the "highlights" of this debacle:

• Frames per second that are only slightly higher than the number of people who actually care about the game's story
• Bugs that will freeze your game, corrupt your save data, and make you question every life choice that led you to purchase this disaster
• Glitches that will turn your character into a flying, invincible, mess of pixels that will haunt your dreams
• And of course, the obligatory "we're working on a patch" statement, which roughly translates to "we have no idea what we're doing, but please keep giving us your money"

But hey, who needs adequate testing and quality assurance when you've got a team of social media influencers who will shill your game to their gullible followers, regardless of its actual quality? I mean, it's not like they're getting paid to say nice things or anything. And who needs real experts when you've got self-proclaimed "gamers" who will defend the game to the death, despite having never actually played it? The sheer number of idiots who will eat up any old nonsense is staggering. And let's not forget the statistical embarrassment that is the game's performance on different platforms and regions. Because what's a few (dozen) FPS between friends, right? I mean, who needs a smooth gaming experience when you can have a game that chugs along like a dying lawnmower? The fact that some people will still defend this trash, despite the overwhelming evidence of its poor quality, is a testament to the power of marketing and the gullibility of the human brain. But hey, at least the developers are "transparent" about their lack of optimization, right? I mean, they'll happily tell you that they're "looking into it" or that it's "a known issue", which is just code for "we have no idea how to fix it, but please keep giving us your money". And of course, the obligatory "we value your feedback" statement, which roughly translates to "we value your money, but not your opinions". What a joke.