
The Feds' Favorite Pastime: Violating Civil Rights
Oh joy, let's talk about the feds and their favorite hobby: stomping on civil rights. Because, you know, who needs freedom and dignity when you've got "law and order" to uphold? The consistent pattern of abuse and excessive force by ICE and other law enforcement agencies is just a minor detail, a tiny blip on the radar of American exceptionalism.
The highlight reel of protesters being injured or killed by "non-lethal" projectiles is just a fun little bonus. Who needs rubber bullets when you can use actual bullets, right? And don't even get me started on the "mostly peaceful" protests that somehow manage to turn into war zones. Here are a few of my favorite examples:
- The time a protester in Portland was shot in the head with a "less-lethal" munition and spent weeks in a coma
- The incident in Minneapolis where a police officer shot a man in the back with a rubber bullet, causing permanent spinal cord damage
- The countless times "non-lethal" projectiles have been used on journalists, medics, and other civilians who just happened to be in the way
- Over 1,000 people have been killed by police in the US this year alone
- ICE has a backlog of over 1 million deportation cases, because who needs due process, anyway?
- The Department of Homeland Security has spent billions of dollars on "counter-terrorism" efforts, which mostly seem to involve spying on and harassing American citizens

Portland: The City That Loves to Complain, But Not Actually Do Anything
Oh joy, another opportunity for Portland to don its favorite cloak of self-righteousness, all while accomplishing precisely nothing. The city's illustrious history of protests and activism is a joke, a mere facade hiding a staggering lack of tangible results. It's all about the performative outrage, the Instagrammable moments of pseudo-activism, and not at all about actual, meaningful change.
Let's take a look at the city's "accomplishments":
- Years of protests against police brutality, yet the police department remains as opaque and unaccountable as ever.
- Endless rallies for affordable housing, but the city's homelessness crisis continues to worsen, with officials more concerned with grandstanding than providing concrete solutions.
- Plenty of virtue-signaling about environmental issues, but the city's own carbon footprint remains embarrassingly high, thanks to its addiction to pointless bureaucracy and lack of actual policy changes.
- A 2019 report showing that, despite years of "efforts" to address homelessness, the city's homeless population had actually increased by 22%.
- A 2020 audit revealing that the city's "environmental initiatives" had failed to reduce carbon emissions, despite wasting millions of dollars on pointless programs and bureaucratic overhead.
- The city's laughable "response" to the COVID-19 pandemic, which consisted of vague promises, half-hearted measures, and a general air of confusion and incompetence.

The Mainstream Media's Favorite Game: Misdirection and Sensationalism
The mainstream media's obsession with sensationalism is a plague that's infecting the minds of the gullible masses. They churn out clickbait headlines that are about as informative as a tweet from a Kardashian. It's all about the Benjamins, baby - getting those clicks and views, no matter how much truth is sacrificed in the process.
Journalists have become nothing more than content farmers, churning out shallow, poorly researched articles that are designed to provoke rather than inform. And the worst part? People lap it up like the good little sheep they are. Take, for example:
- The New York Times' disastrous coverage of the 2016 election, which was more focused on sensationalizing Hillary Clinton's email scandal than actually reporting on the issues.
- CNN's embarrassing obsession with Donald Trump's tweets, which has become a never-ending circus of speculation and hype.
- The Washington Post's pathetic attempts to pass off opinion pieces as factual reporting, complete with misleading headlines and cherry-picked statistics.
- The anti-vaxxer movement, which has been fueled by misinformation and pseudoscience spread through social media.
- The flat-earthers, who somehow manage to convince people that the Earth is flat despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
- The numerous instances of fake news being spread through Facebook and Twitter, often with disastrous consequences.

The ICE of the Matter: A Symptom of a Larger Problem
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Will this court ruling actually make a difference?
Oh joy, a court ruling that's supposed to change everything. How quaint. How utterly, mind-numbingly quaint. You think a piece of paper with some fancy words on it is going to stop the feds from doing whatever they want? Please. The feds have a long history of "creative" interpretations of the law, and this ruling will be no exception. They'll just find a way to weasel out of it, or better yet, "accidentally" "misinterpret" it. Because, you know, that's never happened before.
- The NSA's "incidental" collection of civilian data, which just happened to be entirely intentional.
- The DEA's "accidental" surveillance of entire cities, which was totally not a thing.
- The FBI's "mistaken" identification of peaceful protesters as domestic terrorists, which was just a minor oversight.
- Over 1,000 "false positives" in the TSA's no-fly list, which is just a tiny fraction of the total number of people affected.
- Thousands of "unintended" victims of SWAT team raids, which are just "isolated incidents" (read: not isolated at all).
- The countless lives ruined by "mistaken" identity, "accidental" surveillance, and "unforeseen" consequences.