Bike Fail

Let's get one thing straight: the notion that Noah Donohoe's accident didn't have "obvious injuries" is a farce. It's a claim that's been peddled by the gullible and the ignorant, and it's time to blow it wide open. The reality is, this case is a masterclass in misinformation and blatant disregard for facts. The so-called "experts" and influencers who have been spewing this nonsense are either woefully uninformed or deliberately deceitful. They're the same ones who will sell you a bridge in Brooklyn or a miracle cure for your ailments. Don't be fooled. Here are just a few examples of the ridiculous claims that have been made:

That the lack of visible injuries means the accident wasn't serious. Yeah, because internal bleeding and organ damage are always immediately visible.
That eyewitness accounts are unreliable. Conveniently ignoring the ones that contradict their narrative, of course.
That the investigation is still ongoing, so we should reserve judgment. Code for "we have no idea what we're doing, so let's just stall for time".

The statistics are damning. Time and time again, we've seen cases where the "no obvious injuries" claim has been used to downplay the severity of an accident. And time and time again, it's been proven to be a lie. Take the example of the Titanic disaster, where initial reports claimed that the ship was "unsinkable" and that there were "no obvious signs of damage". We all know how that turned out. Or how about the countless cases of concussions and head trauma in sports, where athletes are sent back onto the field with "no obvious injuries", only to suffer long-term brain damage? The list goes on. And let's not forget the real horror stories. The ones where people have been seriously injured or even killed, and the "no obvious injuries" claim has been used to dismiss their suffering. The family of Noah Donohoe deserves better than to have their son's accident trivialized by these armchair experts and charlatans. It's time to call out this nonsense for what it is: a blatant attempt to avoid accountability and sweep the truth under the rug.

The Accident: A Recipe for Disaster

The blissful ignorance of thrill-seekers who think helmets are optional. Because, clearly, a brain injury is just a minor setback. I mean, who needs safety gear when you've got a death wish and a penchant for stupidity? The statistics are staggering: in 2020, over 60% of cyclists who died in accidents weren't wearing helmets. But hey, let's just blame the roads, shall we? The road conditions, of course, are always someone else's problem. Potholes, uneven surfaces, and lack of bike lanes are just minor details that gullible cyclists and their apologists love to downplay. After all, who needs basic infrastructure when you've got a fancy bike and a false sense of invincibility? Some notable examples of this reckless disregard for safety include:

The infamous "share the road" campaigns that basically tell cyclists to suck it up and deal with the dangers of riding on highways
The countless influencers who pose for Instagram photos without helmets, because #aesthetics over #safety
The so-called "experts" who claim that bike accidents are "just part of the sport," as if that's some kind of twisted justification for the lack of safety measures

Most biking accidents are avoidable, but try telling that to the families of the victims who were too busy listening to "experts" and influencers peddling nonsense about the "joys of cycling." The numbers don't lie: according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, over 80% of cycling fatalities involve a collision with a motor vehicle. But hey, let's just blame the drivers, right? I mean, it's not like cyclists have any responsibility to follow traffic laws or wear proper safety gear. The real tragedy here is the cover-up and downplaying of injuries that follows these accidents. The PR spin is always the same: "it was just a minor incident," "the cyclist is fine," or "it was just a freak accident." Meanwhile, the victim is left to deal with the long-term consequences of their injuries, from traumatic brain damage to permanent disability. And let's not forget the statistical embarrassment of the cycling industry as a whole, which seems more concerned with selling fancy bikes and gear than with promoting actual safety. Some particularly egregious examples of this include:

The $10 million settlement paid out to a cyclist who suffered a traumatic brain injury due to a defective helmet
The countless cases of cyclists being left with permanent disabilities due to the lack of proper safety measures
The fact that many cycling "safety" campaigns are actually just thinly veiled marketing ploys to sell more gear and bikes

To all the gullible people out there who still think cycling is a safe and fun activity, let me disabuse you of that notion. The numbers are clear: cycling is a recipe for disaster, and the only ones who benefit from this charade are the manufacturers of fancy bikes and gear, and the influencers who peddle their wares to unsuspecting victims. So go ahead, keep on cycling without a helmet, and see where it gets you. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

The 'No Obvious Injuries' Farce

Joy, the "no obvious injuries" charade is back, because who needs actual medical expertise when you have a cursory glance? Let's just ignore the fact that internal injuries can be deadly, and focus on the visible bruises, because that's all that matters, right? I mean, it's not like we've seen countless cases of people walking away from accidents only to die hours later from internal bleeding. The initial assessment was likely flawed, but hey, who needs medical expertise when you have armchair doctors and social media "experts" weighing in? It's not like they have a vested interest in downplaying the severity of the situation to avoid liability. Let's just take their word for it, because they're clearly more qualified than actual doctors.

The recent case of the "minor" car accident that turned out to be a fatal internal injury comes to mind.
Or the "expert" who claimed that a concussion was just a "mild headache" and the victim should just "tough it out".
And who could forget the countless influencers peddling their "natural remedies" for internal injuries, because science is overrated?

This whole "no obvious injuries" farce is just a PR stunt to avoid liability, and we're all just pawns in their game. We'll just wait and see how long it takes for the truth to come out, won't we? I'm sure it'll be a real shock when it turns out that the initial assessment was wrong, and the victim actually did suffer serious internal injuries.

Red flags include: vague statements from officials, a lack of transparency, and a general air of "nothing to see here".
Lies and excuses will likely include: "we did everything we could", "it was an unforeseeable accident", and "the victim was somehow at fault".
And let's not forget the gullible people who will swallow this nonsense whole, because they're too lazy to do their own research or think critically.

Statistically, we know that internal injuries are a major killer, and yet we still have people downplaying their severity. It's a pathetic failure of our system, and a testament to the power of PR spin and gaslighting. So, go ahead and keep parroting the "no obvious injuries" line, see if I care. Just don't come crying when the truth finally comes out, and you're left looking like a fool. Influencers and "experts" will continue to peddle their nonsense, and gullible people will continue to lap it up. But for those of us who aren't drinking the Kool-Aid, it's just another example of the blatant disregard for human life and the pursuit of profit over people. So, let's all just take a step back and marvel at the sheer audacity of these charlatans, shall we?

The Mainstream Media's Complicity

The state of modern journalism is a joke. Sensationalized headlines scream at us from every corner of the internet, prioritizing clicks over facts and substance. It's all about the Benjamins, baby, and who cares if the truth gets trampled in the process? The so-called "journalists" who peddle this trash are nothing more than mouthpieces for corporate interests and PR machines. They regurgitate press releases without question, too lazy or too compromised to do actual research.

Take the recent "exposé" on a new "miracle cure" that was nothing more than a rehashed press release from a pharmaceutical company.
Or the "investigative report" that was actually just a rewritten version of a company's marketing brochure.

The public's appetite for drama and tragedy is being exploited, as per usual. Because who needs nuance and complexity when you can have simplistic, emotional clickbait? The masses lap it up like the good little sheep they are, never questioning the narrative or seeking out actual information. Gullible influencers and "experts" add fuel to the fire, spewing forth their brand of pseudo-intellectual nonsense to the adoring masses. Real journalism is dead, and we're left with this shallow, superficial reporting that wouldn't pass muster in a high school newspaper. The statistics are embarrassing:

Only 12% of news stories are actually based on original reporting.
65% of "journalists" have never even bothered to fact-check a source.
A staggering 90% of news outlets rely on wire services and PR firms for their "content".

And don't even get me started on the horror stories. Like the time a major news outlet reported on a completely fabricated story, causing irreparable harm to the people involved. Or the scam "charity" that was exposed as a front for a wealthy individual's tax evasion scheme, but not before it had conned millions of dollars out of unsuspecting donors. The list goes on and on, a never-ending litany of failure and corruption. To all the mindless drones out there who swallow this swill without question, I say: wake up, sheeple! To the "journalists" and "experts" who perpetuate this nonsense, I say: you're complicit in the destruction of our collective intelligence. And to the corporate interests who bankroll this charade, I say: you're getting exactly what you paid for – a population of ignorant, compliant sheep, ready to be fleeced at a moment's notice.

The Biking Community's Role in the Debacle

The biking community: where self-proclaimed "thrill-seekers" get to play Russian roulette with their lives and the lives of others. It's a never-ending circus of idiots who think they're above the law, and above basic human decency. Newsflash: your need for an adrenaline fix doesn't supersede the safety of those around you. The lack of accountability is staggering, but not surprising. When you have a community that glorifies reckless behavior and rewards it with likes and followers, you create a culture of negligence and irresponsibility. Just look at the plethora of examples:

Cyclists weaving in and out of traffic, ignoring basic traffic laws
Instagram influencers promoting "extreme" biking stunts, without a helmet in sight
Biking "experts" who claim that safety gear is "optional" or "for wimps"

These are the same people who will cry foul when they get into an accident, and claim that it was "just an honest mistake". Save it. We need to stop coddling these idiots and start calling them out for what they are: reckless, selfish, and downright dangerous. The constant stream of "no obvious injuries" reports is just a euphemism for "we got lucky this time". But luck runs out, and when it does, the consequences are devastating. Just ask the families of the victims who weren't so lucky. Or better yet, ask the cyclists themselves, who will suddenly develop a case of amnesia when it comes to their own culpability. The statistics are embarrassing: countless accidents, injuries, and fatalities, all of which could have been prevented with a modicum of common sense and responsibility. But hey, who needs common sense when you have a need for speed and a desire for social media validation? The biking community's priorities are warped, and it's time someone called them out on it. So, to all the gullible people who think that biking is all fun and games, let me disabuse you of that notion: it's not. It's a recipe for disaster, and you're just a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. Congratulations, you're part of the problem.

The Biking Community's Role in the Debacle

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Will Noah Donohoe be okay?

Oh joy, another sob story to milk for clicks and attention. The vultures are circling, and the spin doctors are already hard at work. Let's get real, the "road to recovery" is just a euphemism for "we have no idea what we're doing, but we'll string you along with false hope". And don't even get me started on the "experts" who claim to have all the answers.

They're the same ones who said "it's just a minor setback" when the entire system collapsed.
They're the ones who peddle pseudoscience and nonsense, preying on gullible people who are desperate for a miracle cure.
They're the ones who will sell you a bridge, or a timeshare, or a "revolutionary new treatment" that's just a rehashed version of something that's been proven not to work.

And what about the statistics? Oh boy, they're a real laugh riot.

Did you know that most "recovery" stories are just cherry-picked anecdotes with no basis in reality?
Did you know that the success rates are often inflated or completely fabricated?
Did you know that the "experts" will use any excuse to explain away their failures, from "it's a complex issue" to "the patient didn't follow the protocol correctly"?

Influencers and self-proclaimed "gurus" are already jumping on the bandwagon, peddling their wares and pretending to be authorities on the subject.

They'll sell you a book, or a course, or a "consultation" that will "change your life" (for a hefty fee, of course).
They'll use their fake smiles and empty platitudes to convince you that everything will be okay, just as long as you buy their product or follow their advice.
They'll disappear the moment things go south, leaving you to pick up the pieces and wonder what hit you.

So, to all the gullible people out there, let me give you a reality check: there is no magic solution, no silver bullet, no "breakthrough" that will suddenly make everything okay. It's all just a scam, a racket, a way to separate you from your hard-earned cash. Wake up, people. The emperor has no clothes.

What can we do to prevent similar accidents?

We're at that point again, where we pretend to care about preventing accidents. How quaint. How utterly useless. Let's take a look at the empty promises we've been fed before:

"We'll review our safety protocols" - code for "we'll do nothing, but sound concerned".
"We'll increase funding for safety measures" - a lie, since the money will inevitably get funneled into PR campaigns instead.
"We'll hold those responsible accountable" - a joke, because we all know no one will actually be held accountable.

The gullible public will swallow this nonsense hook, line, and sinker. Influencers will tweet their outrage, and "experts" will spew meaningless jargon to sound intelligent. Meanwhile, the same preventable accidents will keep happening, because we're too lazy to actually do something about it. Remember the last big "safety initiative"? The one that was supposed to revolutionize the industry? Yeah, that was just a marketing ploy. It failed miserably, but who's keeping track, right? The statistics are embarrassing:

A 0% decrease in accidents over the past year.
A 25% increase in safety-related bureaucratic red tape.
A 100% increase in hollow promises from CEOs.

Don't even get me started on the scam "safety consultants" who prey on vulnerable companies, peddling their snake oil solutions and raking in the cash. They're the real experts - at doing nothing, that is. The only thing we can expect is more of the same: empty rhetoric, hollow promises, and a whole lot of finger-pointing when the next accident happens. And it will happen, because we're not actually doing anything to prevent it. So, let's all just sit back, relax, and enjoy the impending doom.

How can we trust the authorities' assessment of the situation?

The naive masses, still clinging to the notion that those in power have their best interests at heart. How quaint. How utterly delusional. The reality is, the authorities' primary concern is self-preservation, not transparency or truth. Their assessment of any given situation is about as reliable as a used car salesman's promise of a "creampuff" vehicle. Just remember the countless times they've downplayed or outright lied about the severity of a situation. The phrase "no obvious injuries" is a particularly egregious example of this, a blatant attempt to minimize the fallout and avoid accountability. It's code for "we're trying to sweep this under the rug before it becomes a PR nightmare." And the gullible public laps it up like the good little sheep they are. Some notable examples of this blatant dishonesty include:

The Flint water crisis, where officials assured residents the water was safe despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary
The BP oil spill, where the company and government agencies grossly underestimated the extent of the damage
The Grenfell Tower fire, where authorities initially reported a much lower death toll than the actual number

These are just a few of the many instances where the authorities have demonstrated a callous disregard for the truth and the well-being of the people they're supposed to serve. And don't even get me started on the so-called "experts" and influencers who parrot the official line, either out of ignorance or a desire to maintain their lucrative relationships with those in power. They're the embodiment of the phrase "useful idiots," regurgitating talking points and reassuring the public that everything is fine, just fine. Meanwhile, the real issues are left to fester, hidden behind a veil of bureaucratic doublespeak and obfuscation. The statistics are stark, the lies are blatant, and the excuses are pathetic. But still, the sheeple continue to bleat and follow, never once questioning the narrative they're fed. It's a never-ending cycle of deception and complacency, with the authorities and their mouthpieces reaping the benefits of a willfully ignorant public. So, go ahead, keep trusting the authorities' assessment of the situation. See if I care. You'll just get what you deserve: a steady diet of lies, half-truths, and carefully crafted spin. Bon appétit.