Marriage, a bond between two individuals, is often considered a sacred institution in Indian culture. However, behind the glamorous facade of celebrity marriages, there often lies a tale of struggles, compromises, and unmet expectations. One such story is that of Esha Deol, a talented actress, and her tumultuous marriage to Bharat Takhtani, a businessman. Esha, daughter of the legendary actress Hema Malini and actor Dharmendra, was born into a family of cinematic legends. With her debut film "Koi Mere Dil Se Poochhe" in 2002, Esha carved a niche for herself in the Bollywood industry. Her personal life, however, took center stage when she tied the knot with Bharat in 2012. The marriage, which was touted as a perfect blend of love and companionship, soon turned out to be a mismatch of expectations. Bharat, hailing from a traditional Gujarati family, had certain expectations from his wife, which Esha, being a modern and independent woman, found difficult to fulfill. The couple's differences began to surface, causing tension in their relationship.
- One of the primary factors that contributed to their marital struggles was Bharat's expectation of Esha being a homemaker. As an actress, Esha was used to being in the limelight, but Bharat wanted her to devote more time to domestic duties, which Esha found challenging to balance with her career.
- Another point of contention was Bharat's desire for Esha to adopt a more traditional and conservative lifestyle. Esha, who had grown up in a liberal environment, found it difficult to conform to Bharat's expectations of dressing modestly and adhering to traditional norms.
- The lack of emotional support from Bharat was another significant issue that Esha faced. As an actress, Esha often had to deal with the pressures of the film industry, and she needed a partner who could provide her with emotional support and encouragement. However, Bharat's inability to understand her struggles further strained their relationship.

The Pressure to Stay Slim
- The pressure to stay slim is not limited to celebrities; it affects women from all walks of life.
- The constant scrutiny and criticism can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
- The media's portrayal of women's bodies as flawed and in need of correction perpetuates this pressure.

The 'Gharelu' Expectation
- Physical and mental exhaustion, as women are forced to juggle multiple responsibilities with little support or recognition.
- Lack of personal freedom and autonomy, as women are expected to prioritize their family's needs over their own.
- Limited career opportunities, as women may be forced to take a backseat or sacrifice their careers to fulfill their domestic duties.
- Perpetuation of gender stereotypes, where women are seen as caregivers and men as breadwinners.

Taking Care of His Mom: A Daughter-in-Law's Role
- Respect and understanding: Esha has spoken about the importance of respecting her mother-in-law's values and traditions, even if they may differ from her own.
- Open communication: Esha believes in maintaining open and honest communication with her mother-in-law, which helps to avoid misunderstandings and build trust.
- Emotional support: Esha makes an effort to provide emotional support to her mother-in-law, whether it's listening to her concerns or simply being present for her.
- Shared responsibilities: Esha has spoken about how she and her husband share the responsibilities of taking care of his mother, which helps to distribute the workload and avoid burnout.
- Feeling trapped or suffocated by others' expectations
- Struggling to balance their own needs and desires with those of their husband and mother-in-law
- Dealing with criticism or judgment from others, whether it's related to their cooking, cleaning, or parenting skills
- Feeling isolated or disconnected from their own family and friends

Breaking Free from Toxic Expectations
- Practice self-reflection: Take time to understand what you want, need, and deserve. Identify your values, passions, and goals, and make them a priority.
- Communicate assertively: Learn to express your needs and desires clearly, without fear of judgment or rejection. Remember, saying no to others means saying yes to yourself.
- Set healthy boundaries: Establish limits with others to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. This includes learning to say no to commitments that drain you and saying yes to those that nourish you.
- Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Whether it's reading, exercising, or simply taking a relaxing bath, prioritize your own well-being.
- Surround yourself with positive influences: Seek out people who support and encourage you to be your authentic self. Avoid relationships that make you feel small, insignificant, or unworthy.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What does 'gharelu' mean in Indian culture?
In Indian culture, the term "gharelu" holds a significant place, especially when it comes to women. Literally translated, "gharelu" means "homely" or "domestic," but its connotations run much deeper. At its core, being called "gharelu" implies that a woman is skilled in managing her household, taking care of her family, and exceling in domestic chores. It is a term of endearment, often used to describe a woman who is dedicated to her family and prioritizes their well-being above her own. In many Indian households, a "gharelu" woman is considered the backbone of the family, ensuring that everything runs smoothly and efficiently. However, the term "gharelu" also has some subtle implications. In a traditional Indian setup, a woman who is "gharelu" is often expected to sacrifice her personal ambitions and desires for the sake of her family. She is expected to be selfless, sacrificing her own needs and wants for the benefit of others. This can sometimes lead to a lack of personal identity and autonomy, as the woman's sense of self-worth becomes deeply tied to her domestic roles. In recent times, the term "gharelu" has taken on a slightly different connotation. With the rise of feminism and women's empowerment, many Indian women are reclaiming the term as a badge of honor. They argue that being "gharelu" doesn't mean sacrificing one's own identity or ambitions, but rather, it means being proud of one's domestic skills and taking care of one's family without apology.
- Some of the key characteristics associated with a "gharelu" woman include:
- Exceptional cooking skills
- Ability to manage the household budget efficiently
- Skilled in traditional crafts and arts, such as embroidery or pottery
- Devotion to family and a strong sense of responsibility
- A willingness to make sacrifices for the benefit of others
- In many Indian communities, a "gharelu" woman is also expected to:
- Take care of her in-laws and extended family members
- Be proficient in traditional household chores, such as cleaning and laundry
- Be knowledgeable about traditional remedies and household remedies
- Be an expert in managing the household staff, if applicable
How can women deal with body shaming and patriarchal expectations?
Dealing with body shaming and patriarchal expectations can be a daunting task for women. The constant barrage of unrealistic beauty standards, gender roles, and societal pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and anxiety. However, it's essential to remember that women are not alone in this struggle, and there are ways to cope with these toxic expectations. Recognize and Acknowledge The first step in dealing with body shaming and patriarchal expectations is to recognize and acknowledge the problem. Women must understand that these expectations are not only unrealistic but also harmful. They must identify the sources of these expectations, whether it's social media, family, or friends, and acknowledge the emotional toll they take. Self-Care and Self-Love Practicing self-care and self-love is crucial in coping with body shaming and patriarchal expectations. This includes:
- Focusing on physical and mental health rather than appearance
- Engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment
- Prioritizing sleep, nutrition, and exercise for overall well-being
- Surrounding oneself with positive and supportive people
- Identifying and reframing negative self-talk
- Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion
- Focusing on individual strengths and accomplishments
- Challenging societal norms and expectations
- Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty
- Set clear boundaries with others
- Prioritize their own needs and desires
- Avoid people who bring them down or make them feel bad about themselves
- Talking to trusted friends, family, or a therapist
- Joining support groups or online communities
- Participating in activities that promote body positivity and self-acceptance
- Celebrating individuality and diversity
- Advocating for women's rights and empowerment
- Challenging gender stereotypes and roles
- Promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion
- Supporting and uplifting other women
What can we learn from Esha Deol's marriage struggles?
Esha Deol, the talented Bollywood actress, has been quite open about her marriage struggles with husband Bharat Takhtani. Their relationship has been a subject of interest for many, and there's a lot we can learn from their experiences. One of the key takeaways is the importance of self-awareness in relationships. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, values, and needs. It's essential to have a clear understanding of what makes you happy, what you can compromise on, and what your non-negotiables are. Esha Deol has spoken about how she struggled with adjusting to married life and how it affected her identity. This highlights the need for individuals to be aware of their own expectations and desires from a relationship. Effective communication is another vital aspect of a successful relationship. Communication is not just about talking, but also about listening actively and understanding each other's perspectives. In an interview, Esha Deol mentioned how she and her husband would often argue due to lack of communication. This lack of communication led to misunderstandings and resentment. It's essential to create a safe and open environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves. Setting boundaries is also crucial in relationships. Boundaries are necessary to maintain individuality and prevent feelings of suffocation or resentment. Esha Deol has spoken about how she had to set boundaries with her husband to maintain her independence and identity. This is an important lesson for couples – setting boundaries doesn't mean you don't love or care for each other, but rather that you respect each other's individuality. Some key lessons we can learn from Esha Deol's marriage struggles are:
- Self-awareness is essential to understand your own needs and desires from a relationship.
- Effective communication is necessary to prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
- Setting boundaries is crucial to maintain individuality and prevent feelings of suffocation or resentment.
- It's okay to take time for yourself and prioritize your own needs in a relationship.
- Marriage is a journey, and it's normal to face struggles – it's how you work through them that matters.